Zaryk Page 5

  “Lyndsay texted you a while back. I wasn’t going to say anything because I didn’t want you to think I was looking through your phone. It went off while you were in the shower one night and I looked at it. She texted that she missed you and wants you to call her so you can catch up.” She looks down at the diamond on her finger, then back at me. “I suggest you tell her that you’re taken now and that you’re happy without her.”

  I stand there, dumbfounded. Groaning inwardly, I make my way back to my spot on the couch and put my guitar in my lap. What the hell has gotten into her? She’s been acting weird ever since I put that ring on her finger. Her crabbiness, no, bitchiness, has gotten under my skin like nothing else. That little confession just put me in a foul as hell mood.

  Kendall comes back downstairs, her purse hanging from her shoulder, and her cell phone to her ear. She doesn’t even look at me as she strolls to the door, giggling at whatever is being said in her ear. Whatever. I have work to do.

  ******

  One year later

  My life is falling apart. It’s like a million dull daggers are stabbing me in the heart, over and over. I look at my bedroom door again. Maybe it’s a dream and I’ll wake up and Kendall and I will have a good laugh about it. I look back down at my hand. The little pendant necklace I bought for her still rests there, burning a hole in my hand. Fuck. How could this be happening? I hold it up and watch it spin. A little silver guitar rests on the end.

  I still remember the night I gave it to her. We had just finished recording our album and we were talking about a possible tour. I was so excited to be able to look at her and say I could give her the life we wanted together. It wasn’t long after when I proposed.

  Two years. I wasted two years of my life giving a woman who cheated on me everything I had. She even had the gall to say she was keeping the engagement ring because it was a gift. Gift my ass; it was supposed to be a symbol of our love and our faith in each other. Glad to see my faith was so well placed.

  What had I done? We were just upstairs talking about wedding preparations and plans for the future when she got all fidgety and confessed to sleeping with Seth. I was stunned. How did we go from a future with kids to her out the door and in her car?

  Worst of all was the man. If she had to cheat on me, anyone but Seth McCrite would have been preferable. He’s an ass. He has a penchant for drugs and beating whoever he’s sleeping with. The way he treats women makes me sick. God, I gave her the world, and she prefers the man who might give her a fucking concussion.

  To hell with this. The band has our first tour starting in a week and I need something to throw myself into. So with my wedding cancelled, no life plans beyond getting shit-faced, and the need to scream, cry, and throw things, I make my way towards the only people who can help make me feel better.

  As I come down the stairs I hear Deklan’s voice. “Zaryk? Everything okay, man? Kendall took off like a flash and she wouldn’t even look at any of us.”

  “She’s gone.” As I say the words the meaning crashes down around me. She’s gone. No more waking up to her smile. No more racing to the bathroom to see who can use up all the hot water. No more talking about when we need to move away from my bozo brothers and get our own place. Of course there’s a flip side to this; no more cheating, backstabbing bitch that lies to me. At least there’s one plus in my life.

  Deklan grabs my arm. “Come sit down. You look as white as a sheet.”

  “How did this happen? Did I do something wrong? She’s been fucking cheating on me, man. With Seth of all fucking people.” I sit and let my head fall into my hands. When I look up I spy a bottle of vodka on the counter in the kitchen and my mouth starts to water. God, I can’t drink like the fish I used to be. I’ve lain off drinking so much since getting with Kendall. I thought I was doing just fine. With our album out in stores, I was bringing in money and planning my life with the woman I loved.

  I bang my head into the back of the couch. “What … the … fuck.” My brothers drop onto the couch beside me and I look at both of them.

  “Forget about her,” Zayden says as he hands me a bottle of water. I raise an eyebrow as I take it. “No booze.” He answers my unasked question. “You’re better off without her. God knows how long she’s been fucking Seth.” He puts a hand on my shoulder and squeezes it. “Dude, we’re going on tour soon! Our own fucking tour! You’re bound to score some ass in the next six months!”

  I laugh. Hearing Zayden talk about anyone getting ass is like reading a book twice to see if the ending changes … it shouldn’t happen. He’s such a mama’s boy, and he’s still with his high school sweetheart, Jessica.

  “What’s so funny?” He cocks an eyebrow at me like I’ve lost my mind.

  “Something about you talking about getting ass makes me want to call Mom over to wash your mouth out with soap, Mister Goody two shoes.” I push him and he falls over on the couch.

  “At least I got you to laugh.” He pouts like I just insulted him. He should be glad he has a girl who’s faithful.

  “Thanks for that, bro.” I make my way to the kitchen and eye the bottles of liquor lined along the wall on the counter. The temptation to grab one beckons me. Reluctantly, I decide against it. When I walk back into the room I take a look at each of my best friends, brothers, and band-mates. These guys have seen me at my best and my worst, and yet they have stayed by me through it all. I’m about to jump on a tour bus and live out my dream with these guys. Now if only my better judgment would kick in. I lift up my bottle of water and look at them. “To the tour.”

  “To the tour!” everyone shouts as they raise their glasses.

  ~ Seven ~

  Six months later

  Lyndsay

  I'm excited to see Twisted Epiphany tonight with my best friend, Amberlynn. She's still dating Deklan. I’m in awe of their relationship. They’ve been together since college and they are more in love now than they were in the beginning. I long for that closeness with someone.

  Corbin and I didn’t last long. Things were great in the beginning. I would receive cute little love notes and roses out of the blue. He would come see me at work and we’d have lunch together on my break. Then his band started gaining momentum. All of those little things stopped. He wouldn’t call me back or text me. One night I finally got fed up with it and went to his apartment. Loud music was coming from inside and I let myself in. That was a huge mistake. I caught him hunched over some woman from behind. He looked back and when he saw me he froze. Empty bottles and marijuana littered the coffee table. When the chick moved her body, I noticed she was pregnant. He looked down at her belly and his face fell.

  He backed away from her and slumped down on the couch. “The kid’s mine.” His lover pulled a blanket from the back of the couch and covered herself up.

  “So this has been going on the entire time we were together?” I asked through the tears.

  He rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. “Actually … she was pregnant before you and I got together.”

  “Who is she?”

  “My ex. Elena this is my, um, girlfriend … Lyndsay.”

  I was shocked to hear him call me his girlfriend as he sat naked next to another woman. My heart leapt into my throat and I felt the bile rising.

  “I’m not your girlfriend anymore.” I left and never looked back. Ugh. My stomach turns at the image. Seeing that made me feel like the most worthless human being. I obviously wasn’t good enough for him.

  I’m nervous about seeing Zaryk. I haven’t seen him since the night we slept together. It’s been almost three years and I wish I hadn’t freaked out that night and cut him out of my life. I see him in magazines and on TV all the time and he looks just as sexy as he did then. His mohawk has grown a bit more, but it’s the same colors it’s always been - black and blonde. He’s added a few more tattoos and piercings to his toned, athletic body. My god, he looks amazing. I’m about to drool all down the front of me, but catch myself. Slightly embarrassed
I look over at Amberlynn as she strolls in.

  "Please tell me you're wearing something else to the concert tonight." Amberlynn gestures to my hoodie and jeans combo. She takes a seat on the couch and eyeballs me with her piercing green eyes. Her long, red, curly hair hangs loose around her shoulders and down her back.

  I look down at my clothes and make a face. Not my finest outfit, especially for a concert. And especially for when I see ... him. Ugh, I need a complete makeover.

  I roll my eyes and make my way to my bedroom to change. I look in the mirror and assess the damage. My long, straight, burgundy hair, streaked with black, is frizzy, my makeup is a complete wreck, and my outfit ... I honestly thought it was a good idea to go out like this?

  Amberlynn's hand rests on my shoulder. "I am going to sex you up girl. You want to impress Zaryk, not scare him away." She laughs as she strolls over to my closet.

  "What makes you think I want to impress Zaryk?" I twist and turn my body in my full-length mirror.

  "Oh please," she says, "if you hadn’t been a complete bitch that night, you two would still be together. He talks about you, you know, to Deklan."

  I whip around, an incredulous look on my pale face. "How do you know?"

  She emerges from my closet with a pink and black tank top and mini skirt to match. She points to my favorite black thigh-high stiletto boots. "Those boots will look great with this. I’ll take care of your hair and makeup."

  "Um, hello?" I wave my arms at her. "How do you know Zaryk's talking about me?"

  She shrugs. "I told you, Deklan told me. Now sit." She gestures toward the chair at my vanity. I obey so she can work her magic. I love having a hairstylist/makeup artist as my best friend.

  “Why didn’t you tell me? Don’t you think this would have been something I’d like to know?” I’m annoyed. Best friends tell each other everything. She kept this from me and I can’t help but be a little ticked off.

  She starts to mess with my hair. "I’m sorry. With everything you went through with Corbin, I didn’t want to bring up the pain of what happened between you and Zaryk. Look, Lynds, he needs someone like you. He needs someone who’s grounded and sensible. I think you can pull him out of the rut he’s been in. You just need to loosen up and break out of this shell you have around you and go after him again." She plugs in the hair straighteners. "I've never seen anybody drink as much vodka as he does. I'm pretty sure his water bottles aren't filled with water. Deklan told me the poor guy is falling apart." She starts working on my mess of hair.

  I look at myself in the mirror while Amberlynn does her thing. I haven't seen the guy since our one night of amazing sex - the night I lost my virginity - and he was so trashed that night. If he talks about me so much, why hasn't he called me?

  My heart skips a beat every time I think of him. When I see his gorgeous face in a magazine or on television I melt into a giant puddle of goo. C’mon, Lyndsay, snap out of it. You're like a star-struck teenager. There's no way a rock god like him will be into you like that. Not anymore. I sigh and come back down to earth. My head may be right about this one.

  ******

  Zaryk

  I lean against the back of the couch and strum some chords on my beloved guitar. The guitar Zoey gave me. I miss her more than ever these days. I never let myself grieve properly. Instead I’ve been drinking to get rid of the fucking pain … again. Kendall took my mind off everything. While I was with her I barely touched any vodka. Zayne and Zayden are doing just fine, which makes me crazy. I want to continue on with life and be blissfully happy, but I can't. The guilt of being happy burdens me. I don’t feel like I can live fully without Zoey and Lyndsay in my life. I don’t feel like I deserve to be happy, especially when I don’t have the two most important people in my life to share it with. The alcohol tends to numb the guilt I feel, but it also turns me into an arrogant asshole most of the time.

  I stop strumming and take a long drink from my water bottle. I haven't swapped the water for vodka ... yet. I look up just in time to see our manager, Todd, walk in. It's show time.

  “Let’s go guys!” he yells and leaves. When I know he’s gone I chug the remaining water and fill the bottle up with another clear liquid - the magic elixir that will get me through the night. I’ve been turning to this stuff more and more lately. Todd has warned me over and over that I need to take it easy or I can find a new band. He doesn't want a drunken guitar player. What he doesn't know won't hurt him.

  We make our way to the stage. Deklan gives me a look when I set the bottle down. I shrug, run out on stage, and go right into my signature riff.

  I completely lose myself in our music. The feel of the strings against my fingertips takes me away from reality. I almost forget where I am when I'm playing.

  I’m almost to the end of my famous introduction when I look over to the side stage area where Deklan's girlfriend hangs out when she's at our shows. I look at the chick next to her and my heart leaps into my throat. Our eyes lock and a faint smile forms on those perfect soft lips. I fucking miss those lips.

  After my quick "wake up everybody" solo, Deklan yells into the mic and makes me flinch. "Hello Luckey, Ohio! It’s great to be back home!"

  Cheers and whistles fill my ears. This is what I live for. I never thought we would be this popular but our success has taken off. Our first album has been at the number one spot for months and our new single is doing better than we ever hoped.

  This is the last show of our first tour and it's our hometown. It's nice to be back, but I'll miss being on the road. Summer is just getting started and I plan on partying the whole season away.

  I look over at Lyndsay. My eyes travel down her slender body and long legs and then back up. A familiar throb beckons behind the zipper of my tight, black jeans.

  After a few more hard numbers we arrive at my favorite song of the set. The song Zayne, Zayden and I wrote for Zoey. The song tears us apart and sends a wave of peace over us at the same time. “Angel Beside Me.” This is one song where I get to show that I’m not just a guitar player.

  The crew wheels out the piano and I take my place on the cushioned bench. Deklan and Kreed move out of sight. This song is for my brothers and me.

  Zayne sits behind his drum kit and Zayden grabs his acoustic guitar. I play a few notes and go right into the soft melody. My long, slender fingers tread lightly over the refined ivory and black keys. The world drops away when we perform this song. I close my eyes as I sing the chorus and I feel the presence of my little sister by my side. When we end the song, the emptiness I always feel comes rushing back.

  I miss my partner in crime, my best friend. Fifteen is way too young to die. The all too familiar pain creeps through me. I reach down and chug the rest of my vodka. After we gather our emotions Kreed and Deklan come back out and we finish up our set.

  "Thank you for an astounding night, Luckey! We can't wait to catch up with everybody! Peace and love and we'll catch you all later!" Deklan yells over the crowd.

  We exit the stage and make our way back to the green room. Normally we do a meet-and-greet, but since we're back home we’ve taken the night off. They get pretty exhausting and my face ends up hurting from smiling so much. I slip my guitar back in her case and lock her up tight. She did me proud tonight. I smile and blink away a tear.

  "I think tonight was your best playing yet, Z," Zayden says behind me.

  "Thanks."

  "Hey, you know Zoey is there at every show. She's right here, bro." He places his hand over his heart.

  I look at Zayden. He's been looking out for me the best he can. He knows how close Zoey and I were. Somehow that closeness has transferred to me and him. He’s more on the mellow side like I am and likes to talk about our feelings. Zayne tends to do his own thing. He’d rather find some chick to bang than do anything with us.

  I pat my brother on the shoulder and smile. "I know." Zayden smiles and starts to walk towards a table filled with food. "Zayden?"

  He turns, "Yeah?"
>
  "Thanks - you know - for being there. For trying to help me through this mess I've become."

  "You're not a mess, Z. When the time is right you'll be back to your old self."

  "I hope so." I see Amberlynn and Lyndsay walk in. My eyes lock with hers, those stunning green eyes from years ago.

  "Hey babe." Deklan wraps his arms around Amberlynn and gives her a quick peck on the lips. He hugs Lyndsay and I watch him intensely. The urge to tell him not to touch her almost overwhelms me. "Lynds, you look amazing!" he says as he hugs her and spins her around.

  When he puts her back down she glances at me and waves. I slowly lift my hand and wave back, still staring at her like an idiot. She looks fucking amazing. Her hair is a lot longer now; it ends at that hot little ass of hers. She has a couple of new piercings in her nose and ears too. I wonder what else she's gotten into since our night together.

  Oh crap, she's coming my way. I stuff my hands in my front pockets and try not to grin like a moron.

  "Hi, Zaryk," she says in her sweet, soft, sexy voice. I almost melt.

  "Lyndsay." I speak softly. I can’t believe this beautiful woman is in my presence again.

  ~ Eight ~

  Lyndsay

  I stare deep into his sapphire blue eyes and I get sucked in. His face hasn’t changed and I see new tattoos on his arms. His nose and bottom lip are pierced now. I want to suck on that lip. And his body, my god, his body. The muscles in his arms suggest he’s been working out even more. I see his lips twitch and they curl into a smile. Those perfect teeth. My god, I think I might faint.

  “How have you been, love?”

  Good lord, hearing him speak almost makes me unravel. He has such a smooth, deep voice. He’s fascinating in every way, shape, and form. I feel an urge to rip my clothes off and attack him right here, right now.